I was sprawled on the living-room couch watching my favourite show on the food network when my husband walked in.

"why do you watch those food shows?"he asked. "you don't even cook."

Glaring back at him, I asked, "then why do you watch football?"


====================================

following my husband's physical exam, the doctor delivered some bad news.

"your white blood cells are elevated," he said.

what does that mean?"i asked.

Looking concerned, the doctor explained, "Up."


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i was standing behind 2 old women when a very scruffy teenager strolled past.
one lady turned to the other and said

"that's Nigel. i overheard his mum saying that he was taking up hang-gliding."

"good lord,: replied the other. "the birds will think the scarecrows are coming up after them."


funny funny funny