more jokes as promised!!!

Mark is made to take position against the wall and the firing squad gets ready to shoot. He shouts "Earthquake!!!". The firing squad panics and Mark escapes by jumping over the wall. Ben was next. He shouted "Tornado!!!" and also made a clean getaway. Last in line was Lucas. Lucas thought "I get it. Just shout out a random disaster and jump over the wall to escape...". The firing squad took aim when Lucas yelled "Fire"..................

Anna: I began my acts of unselfish generosity today. I gave 10 dollars to an absolute no hoper today...Mary: Thats an awful lot of money.....what did your husband say??Anna: He said thanks.....

A blind man is travelling to Texas. He feels the seats of the train and says to the man next to him he says "These seats sure are big" to which the man replies "Everything is bigger in texas". He then checks into is hotel and goes to the bar. He feels the beer glass and says to the bartender "The glasses sure are big" to which the bartender says "Everything is bigger in Texas". The blind man the asks to go to the lavatory.The bartender gave him directions. On the way he takes a wrong turn, slips and falls into the swimming pool. Scared to death he shouts "Dont flush!!!! Dont flush!!!!"....................

A forest ranger is taking a tourist through a forest full of bats. All bats are staring at the tourist hanging upside down from almost all trees. Then suddenly the tourist notices that on 1 of the trees all the bats are sitting upright. The tourist asks the ranger "Why are those bats sitting upright?". The ranger replies "Dont worry.......just the local yoga club.................."

Many people are travelling on a plane........Over the Atlantic the plane loses power......The captain announces "We're losing altitide so we are going to have to throw out the luggage". The passengers agree and all the luggage is thrown out. After a few minutes they lose a second engine, the captain announces "We have just lost another engine...we have to throw out the cabin baggage". So the cabin baggage is also thrown out. Just five minutes later a third engine blows out. The captain announces "We are close to land people, but we have to throw out some passengers too". There is an uproar in the cabin. Undaunted the captain continues "Passengers will be thrown out in alphabetical order. A- any asians on board??... no? B - any blacks on board??....no......." Suddenly a little black boy asks his father "Dad, what are we??" His dad replies "Tonight son, we are Zulus................."

getting outta here... talk again.. XDXDXDXD