backyy.. now at aunt's house.. here's an update

A General goes to the medical camp to instill morale into his sick and wounded soldiers.
Upon entry he sees 3 soldiers sitting there.
He goes up to the first soldier and asks : "Whats wrong with you soldier?"
Soldier 1: " Sir, I have Athletes Foot, Sir!"
General: " What are you doing about it? "
Soldier 1: " Sir, Every morning the priest comes in with the voodoo brush and i rub my foot with it, Sir!"
General: " And what is your goal soldier? "
Soldier 1: " To get well and fight for you Sir!"
Then the General goes to the 2nd soldier and asks: " Soldier whats wrong with you ? "
Soldier 2: " Sir, I have Piles Sir !"
General: " What are you doing about it? "
Soldier 2: " Sir, Every morning the priest comes in with the voodoo brush and i rub my ass with it, Sir!"
General: " And what is your goal soldier? "
Soldier 2: " To get well and fight for you Sir!"
Then the General goes to the 3rd soldier and asks: " Soldier whats wrong with you ? "
Soldier 3: " Sir, I have Tonsillitis Sir !"
General: " What are you doing about it? "
Soldier 3: " Sir, Every morning the priest comes in with the voodoo brush and i rub my throat with it, Sir!"
General: " And what is your goal soldier? "
Soldier 3: " To get the brush before the other 2 soldiers use it Sir!"

3 guys get stranded on an island and get captured by the natives. The natives speak broken english and says: "You Die, or Get Woomba Woomba"
The first guy not knowing what woomba woomba was, says that he'll take woomba woomba so the tribe strips him naked and sodomizes him.
He comes back crying and tells the other 2 guys what woomba woomba was.
The second guy thinks about it and say well he doesnt want to die and he'll take woomba woomba again the entire tribe sodomizes him.
He comes back crying.
The Third guy, with much prides screams out "I rather die!" and the whole tribe replies "Ahh, death by woomba woomba !"

"Don't laugh!" said the patient, Thando
"Of course I won't laugh," the doctor said. "I'm a professional. In overtwenty years I've never laughed at a patient."
"Okay then," Thando said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest 'whoo-ha' the doctor had ever seen.
It couldn't have been biggerthan the size of an AAA battery.Unable to control himself, the doctor started giggling, and then fell laughing to the floor.
Ten minutes later he was able to struggle to his feet and regain his composure.
"I'm so sorry," said the doctor. "I really am. I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a doctor and a gentleman, I promise it won'thappen again. Now ... what seems to be the problem?"
"It's swollen," Thando replied.
The doctor fainted

An 80-year-old man goes for a physical.
All of his tests come back with normal results.
The doctor says, "George, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?"
George replies, "God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I'm done, poof! the light goes off."
"Wow, that's incredible," the doctor says.
A little later in the day, the doctor calls George's wife.
"Ethel," he says, "George is doing fine! But I had to call you because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof! the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done, poof! the light goes off?"
Oh my God!" Ethel exclaims. "He's peeing in the refrigerator again!

LOL............... tag ur comment TY!!!