again at aunt's house. im bored, no one comes =(

A Chinese and Steven Spielberg were drunk in a barSpielberg slapped the Chinese.
Chinese: Why?
Spielberg: Because you bombed Pearl Harbor! My father died there!
Chinese: But I'm Chinese! I'm not Japanese!
Spielberg: You fool! Japanese, Vietnamese, Chinese. You're all the same!
The Chinese then punched
SpielbergSpielberg: Why?
Chinese: That's for sinking the Titanic.
Spielberg: But the Titanic was sunk by an iceberg, stupid!Chinese: iceberg, Carlsberg, Spielberg, you're all the same!

A child was running because he'd be late for class, so he decided to pray.
"God, please help me get to school on time."
As the boy was running, he suddenly got tripped...
"God, don't push me, will ya? Don't get too anxious!"

There was once a child who was praying inside the church, asking God to give him a bicycle.
Child: Lord, please give me a bike!
The next day, the child didn't recieve a bike. So, he decided to go back to the church and pray to God once more
Child: Lord, give me a bike, will ya?
Again, the child's hopes of having a bicycle was to no avail.
The next day, the parish priest noticed that the statuette of the Virgin Mary is missing.
He then saw a letter placed on the altar:
"LORD IF YOU WANT YOUR MOTHER BACK, GIVE ME A BIKE!"

Visitor: How old are you, young man?
Little Boy: Nine, sir.
Visitor: And what are you going to be when you grow up?
Little Boy: Ten, sir?

"You've never even thanked me for making you happyT
hen you threw me away just like that?
I hate you for using me!
I hate you for making my life full of shit!"- Tissue Paper

LOL man looking for more XDXDXD